Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Day +11

Last night I didn't sleep well, I was up and down all night running to the bathroom. Today I couldn't stay awake to save my life. I had a nose bleed that started early in the morning, and lasted until late afternoon. They had to pack my nose three times.

When the night nurse came in to do vitals she gave me my evening med's and went on to her next patient. No sooner did she walk out of the room did I start throwing up, and yes that included all of my evening med's.

Rick stopped by this morning for a couple of hours he took me for my little walk, actually I think that is when my bloody nose came on. He sat up here with me until we were both falling asleep. So I sent him home, since the kids are on spring break this week he said that he was going to come up everyday to spend some time with me.

He was surprised to see me completely bald this morning, I don't even have stubbles. I don't know if I'm going to post tomorrow, because that worm is supposed to attack computers. If not I will post on Thursday.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Day +10

I'm still doing pretty good today. A few issues last night getting sick, and a nose bleed off and on all day today. Other than that I can't complain.

It's currently 8pm and my TPN (I.V. food) should be here any minute. I haven't eaten in four days, and am soooo hungry!!

My daughter Khrystyne got a tattoo this past Saturday. According to her dad it's not a small tattoo... Every time I go into the hospital those girls manage to do something to themselves that I don't necessarily approve of. First, Khrystyne and Courtney both dyed their hair black. Second, Courtney pierced her nose. Third, Courtney pierced her eyebrow. Fourth, Khrystyne got a tattoo, and of course Courtney now wants a tattoo... They manage to do all of this while I'm in the hospital. I don't know what to do with these kids... I guess Khrystyne is 18 so I don't have too much of a say, but Courtney is only 15 (almost 16). You would think she should listen to us.

Other than that I slept pretty much most of the day today so I don't have too many updates. I did want to thank everyone who has left comments for me, it really means a lot.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Day +9 (Ask and ye shall receive)

Wasn't it just yesterday that I said that I can't wait for the day that I can post without a complaint? Well today just happens to be that day. Last night was pretty rough, so this morning after I read my Bible and had my morning vitals taken I took a nap right off the bat. When I woke up I felt great. They won't let me eat or drink anything but water, tomorrow they will start nutrition through my I.V. Other than that today went great.

Rick came up here to visit with me a couple of hours before Holly and the kids got up here. I talked my nurse into letting me have a 7up since I had not thrown up all day. She brought me the 7up, I took one sip and it felt like my whole mouth was on fire, lips and all. I guess the mouth sores are finally here. But hey I tried.

I've not had to have an insulin shot all day (of course I'm not eating), but still no shot is no shot.

Rick brought a movie up for us to watch, The boy in the stripped pajamas. Wow, what a story. I never saw the ending coming, it was very moving. Afterwards I had Rick take me for a walk around the block so to say, it was very exhausting!!

Holly brought the kids up around 2:30 and they all stayed for awhile for a nice visit Little Ricky kept pulling his mask down to give me a kiss, and he kept coming over for long hugs... At first though all of the kids kept their distance, because my whole face is red from me rubbing it all of the time, my eyes are even puffy. But eventually they came around.

Rick told Holly (my sister) to bring the kids up to the hospital so that way he could take them home from here. She told him, "Well I don't know I'll have to check and see if that's ok." He said what do you mean? Then she finally told the truth and said that she doesn't know what to say. He said, "Holly just go up there and see her, she's happy just to get a visitor." So she finally agreed to meet him up here. Which brings up the point Rachel (my other sister) hasn't even called me these past two weeks little lone come up here to visit with me.

After they all left I took yet another nap, woke up and visited some of the blogs that I follow. So all in all a pretty good day today.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Day +8

I'm going to keep today's post short. This morning around 7am I was blessed with yet another bloody nose. This time though it lasted for FIVE hours!! They had to pack my nose twice, and I went through yet another box of Kleenex...

This part is gross so if you have a week stomach I suggest that you skip this paragraph. When they packed my nose the first time it was bleeding so bad huge blood clots were coming out of my nose, and a couple of times I spit up blood clots. So anyways when they packed my nose the blood had nowhere to go but down the back of my throat (GROSS!!) I told the nurse that all of that blood was making me sick to my stomach, so she went to get me something for nausea I got sick and threw up half a bucket of blood. Now another nurse had come in with Esta (my nurse) took one look at what was coming up, I thought she was going to get sick.

I haven't been able to keep ANYTHING down, but I was so hungry that I ordered Breakfast, and Lunch only to have them revisit me 1/2 hour later. They gave me a bag of platelets, and two bags of blood today. When my doctor came in this afternoon she alluded to the fact that I would not be getting any better for a few more weeks. Let me tell you I'm looking forward to the day I can post that I had a really good day, with no complaints to blog about.

To answer Christina's inquiry, the picture on my blog was taken a couple of weeks before I was admitted to the hospital (my six year old son took that picture of me), and three months after my last chemo. I do not look like that right now believe me!!

Rick and the kids are coming up to see me tomorrow afternoon, I can't wait I haven't seen them since last Sunday and I really miss them. I'll post more tomorrow.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Day +7

Yesterday morning I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I knew the nurse was supposed to come in and draw labs at 3:30. Right before she came into my room my nose started to bleed. I ended up having a 3 1/2 hour nose bleed, using a whole box of Kleenex, and having to get both sides of my nose packed with gauze. They didn't even wait until my blood work came back they just gave me platelets. When the cleaning lady came in to clean my room, she went and found my nurse to make sure that they were aware that I had a whole trash can full of bloody tissue.

Last night I ended up sleeping pretty well, but when I woke up this morning I had the worse headache ever. Rick came up for a visit this morning so he was here when my two morning nurses were taking my vitals, getting approval for more pain meds, and giving me my morning meds through my I.V. When I told them that I needed something for nausea, so Beth went to get something for me, when I grabbed my pan and started throwing up all over the place. Poor Tasha, she couldn't go anywhere because the meds that she was putting into my I.V. had to be administered over three minutes. Afterwards Rick said, "Does it always come on so quick?" Of course sometimes it does.

Next the doctor comes in to check out the stomach pain, and to say Good-bye. She is going to another hospital. So right before she leaves she says, "By the way, just so you don't hear this on your way home in a few weeks, we're pretty sure that you're diabetic. When you were admitted into the hospital your sugar was 213, and you've been off of steroids for over a week and are still requiring insulin." (Gee doc THANKS) Of course Rick was still here so he heard it for himself.

I'll be glad when my counts finally start coming back up, I'm so tired of being sick. I've got another week or two for that to happen. I'm already ready to go home.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Day +5

Ricky and Breanna's Easter Picture

I guess things really aren't going to improve much for me for a couple of weeks, according to the doctors. Rick stopped by this morning and I talked him into walking me through the hallway before he left. WOW I cannot tell you how unbelievably hard that little walk was. I had to hold onto the railings as I walked, Rick looked like he expected me to collapse at any moment. Every other move that I made he reached out like he was about to catch me. All of the nurses kept pointing out chairs for me to sit in along the way. To be honest if I had sat down I wouldn't have been able to get back up.

I did not need blood products today, but I am certain that I will need platelets tomorrow, I've had a bloody nose now for the past two hours. Not gushing but annoying. I'm still hardly able to get any food down, I must have blisters in my throat because as of this morning I can no longer swallow pills. They either put them in my IV or I have to take it in liquid form (YUCK).

I do feel a little better tonight than I did earlier today, at least that's something.

They have been giving me all of my insulin shots in my stomach, today I looked down when she was giving the shot and my whole stomach is black and blue.

I think my teenagers are having a hard time with me being in the hospital this time, they both call to check on me. Courtney always asks me how I'm doing, of course I tell her that I'm fine, then she says you don't sound fine, or you're lying. Today Holly (my sister) called and said that Courtney called her last night telling her what she thought, and had Holly call up here today to check on me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Day +4

Last night was another rough one, with still the same old things going on. They gave me anti-nausea medicine, not two minutes later I was getting sick all over the place.

The check my blood counts everyday so that they can adjust my meds as needed. The doctor came in this morning and said that I was a couple of percentage points away from being fed through my I.V. I kind of knew that one was coming I'm still not really able to eat, and I'm starting to get blisters in my mouth and throat, and now today I've got a nice rash started on the top of my hands (GVHD?)

I finally fell asleep this morning around 6am but at 7:15 Rick came in for a visit. But I was able to get some rest after he left. This afternoon I am feeling a little bit better, they wouldn't let me go out for a walk around the unit today because my counts are still too low.

Breanna loves to read and is on the A B Honor roll at school. She started reading Harry Potter this weekend and is already on chapter 5 all by herself, she's only in the third grade!! Rick said that he went upstairs to tuck Ricky and Breanna in last night, their bedroom light was on and they were both lying down reading a book. I'm glad they both have an interest in reading at such a young age.

Well I think I'm going to make another attempt at a nap. Thanks for checking in.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Day +3

Today was more of the same, although I think they have finally worked out all of the kinks as far as my pain meds, and nausea meds are concerned. I didn't have any visitors today, but I did get a few phone calls. Everyone that I talk to on the phone always asks me if I was sleeping, Rick said that I just sound really week.

Tomorrow I think that I'm going to attempt to walk around the unit at least once, to try to build my strength up. I've literally been in bed for the past three days. When I get up to go to the restroom my legs shake like a feeble old lady.

The doctor's said that everything is looking good so far. I'm posting a picture of the day they did my Bone Marrow Transplant. My friend Shirley had come up from work to sit with me while I had the procedure done.

They had to give me a bag of platelets today, I'll probably need blood tomorrow. After the platelets my headache finally lifted a little bit. I still don't have an appetite, I probably didn't even consume 500 calories today, but my weight is still staying the same.

Khrystyne and Courtney are helping out around the house. Trying to keep the biggest load off of Rick. I'm really proud of them, they are taking good care of Ricky & Breanna.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Day +2

Not a whole lot happened today just a lot of sleeping, taking meds, and getting sick!!! I finally got up after noon and got cleaned up and changed (I felt much better) I spoke to Rick and the kids on the phone all day, they were going to a cookout at my sisters house it's her birthday. They were supposed to come up to see me at the hospital after visiting with them for awhile. Finally I just got to tired waiting for them to show up, so I finally just fell asleep. When I woke up Rick was sitting in the chair looking at me, (I woke up moaning in pain) he had tears in his eyes. He had left the kids in the waiting room while he came in to check on me. He helped me to sit up and get comfortable so that the kids could come in for a minute. The looks on all of their faces said it all, you could tell that they were scared.

We visited for awhile, then I told Rick to go ahead and get the kids out of here. I don't like to make them worry. Rick hung back while the kids took off for the waiting room, he was all teared up again, he said that he hates seeing me this way. I told him that I'm getting better every day, and that everything will be ok. So he gave me a little kiss and left.

The minute they left I passed out, I was still so tired. But an hour later I was moaning in pain all over again, the nurse had to come in with some more pain meds (on top of the pain pump), some meds for nausea.

All in all I'm still hanging in there, I'm sure things will get better soon. We appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Day +1

Wow... That is all that I can say about last night... I felt well all afternoon, hardly a glitch, then all off the sudden everything hit all at once. Pain, vomiting, diarrhea, it wouldn't stop all night long. The nurse was constantly coming in and out of my room with one medication or another. But nothing helped. Then finally this morning around 7am things started to settle down just in time for a new nurse and my husband to come in. Esta my morning nurse is the bomb she finally got me settled in and Rick had no idea what to think. I looked like shit, I could barely move. I could tell that he was a little scared, just by the look on his face.

Esta got me settled in and gave me a whole barrage of drugs, so that I could get comfortable. Then Rick and I fell asleep. I finally woke him up so that he could go home to the kids. But I'm glad no one else came up to see me today, it was not a pretty sight. When Rick left I started to run a fever, so they had to do more blood cultures and start me on two different kinds of antibiotics.

So basically today has been a bust, and from the sounds of it there are going to be a few more days just like this. I told Rick today that if this transplant does not work, I won't be doing another one, it's just too much.

Please keep our family in your prayers.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Day 0

Sorry it has taken so long to update, there is no computer access for patients unless you can bring a computer from home. My sister Holly brought me her laptop last night so that I can update from time to time.

I was admitted into I.U. Hospital on Friday the 13th, they took me straight down to surgery and had my double lumen placed. After that they sent me up to the Bone Marrow Transplant clinic until they had a room for me, at 6pm. So they finally got me set up, and ran blood work and got me settled in. They started chemo around 8pm, through the next morning. Then they did another round for chemo on Saturday afternoon. Sunday on the other hand was a day of rest so to say no chemo no radiation they just continually pumped me with IV fluids. My first day here I gained 9 pounds from the fluids that they were pumping through me.

Monday I had to start radiation three times a day for 48 minutes each session, that went for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday as well. Then about three days ago they started me on some new medications to suppress my immune system. The first night that I received the chemo cocktail it felt like a bomb exploded inside my body. My head hurt, my body ached, you name it I was feeling it.

So now we are up to day zero... My bone marrow will be here around 9 am, and then they will have to do their thing to the blood before giving it to me. So now I'm looking at transplant time around twelve, or twelve thirty today. They said that today would be pretty non eventful. Shirley from work is up here with me keeping me company until the time comes.

Rick and the kids are all doing pretty well, Rick was able to fix our van last weekend. Thank God, what a nightmare that was.

I'll try to update more after the fact, keep us in your prayers.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Quick Update

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted, not a whole lot has been going on lately. Last week the day before I left for Florida the van started making a funny noise so we dropped it off at the shop, and the engine is shot so now we have to replace the whole thing. A friend of ours is letting us borrow her van until we can get ours fixed this weekend. Thank God for her; because the day that I was told that my cancer had relapsed the heads blew in Rick’s car (which we never fixed, because we were just using the van).

Anyways I had a really good time in Florida; I enjoyed spending time with my friend and her family. (Although after the second day I really started missing my family). We did go to a hotel to stay on the beach, but it was so cold, and the wind was blowing so hard that her little girl kept saying, “Ouch, Ouch, Ouch” because the wind was blowing the sand into her little legs. So we stayed for one night because it was warmer where Ange lives. But no joke it was in the 50’s and 60’s until the last day I was there, by then I was sick and didn’t really feel like going to the beach. I wanted to mind you, but I woke up and was so dizzy that I couldn’t even get off of the bed. Every time I got up to walk or sat down the room was spinning. But we did make several trips to the beach and even with my issues I had a really good time. Flying on the other hand was another story… I HATE FLYING!!

I received a call from Jay (BMT Coordinator) while I was in Florida; he stated that the donor hospital never submitted the paperwork for the clinical trial so I was denied for that reason. So now I’m having a mismatched unrelated Bone marrow transplant, and my treatment protocol has changed. So instead of five to seven days of chemo and a couple of days of radiation, I will have two days of chemo, one day of rest, and four days of radiation. The radiation is a treat, because I will have three sessions of radiation a day for 45min – 1hour each session. So I didn’t have to go into the hospital on Monday, I have to go in on Friday the 13th, (Jay said I hope you’re not superstitious) which I’m not, but I don’t think that my husband was happy about it. Then my transplant will take place on Friday the 20th.

Jay wanted me to come in last Friday after my trip, to sign the papers for the transplant, after I got fitted for radiation. The nurse came out and said, “Oh by the way Jay wants me to do a workup on you while you are here.” So she had to stick me two times just to get blood, and she had to hold the needle in a weird position so it was really quite painful, and she had to draw five tubes of blood. When Jay came in I told him about the dizziness, and they looked in my ears and said that I did not have an ear infection, and nothing else is wrong with me, so they think that I have Vertigo (Chemo induced) but almost a week later it hasn’t gotten much better. But they are going to look into the cause more when I get into the hospital.

My sister’s friend is going to loan me her laptop while I’m in the hospital so that when I feel up to it I can post from my room. Hopefully everything will go well over the next few weeks, and months. I really just want to get this over with, and get back to normal as quick as possible.