Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hospital Day 20

The doctors came in to see me yesterday morning, and I was doing a little better (because I had not eaten anything the day before). So I asked them if I could have something to eat, he said that I could have a clear diet, so the nurse went and got me an orange Jell-O, it took me an hour to get it down, but not two minutes after I had finished eating it I was doubled over in pain, crying the works. So they gave me some extra pain meds, and sent me down for two more x-rays, and another CAT scan.

They had surgery come down to do a consult, I had an obstruction in my bowel, and they were afraid that it would swell, and perforate which in turn would fill my stomach with my bowel contents. So they said that they may need to do surgery… My blood counts were so low that I was afraid to even think about having surgery… Then another surgeon came in and told me that part of my bowels was dying!!! (All of this of course before the final CAT scan was even read).

I looked like total hell… Black circles under my eyes, my face was sunken in. So I finally called Rick and told him all of the things that had been going on so he could be prepared when he came up for a visit later, or in case the decided to go ahead with surgery.

The surgeons kept coming in and saying that they needed to put a tube down my nose to try to open up the blockage, but my oncologist kept telling them that I was Neutropenic and that if I did not have a solid blockage that they were not doing it.

They took me off of food and liquids… the only thing that I could use were a little sponge to wet down my lips, that was it. When they brought those in I thought oh great, Rick and the kids are coming up tonight, and those were the same kind of sponges that they used on Rick mom and grandmother when they were under hospice care. So I hid the package in the drawer, to keep them out of sight.

They have me on 7 cycles of antibiotics a day to try to help clear this up. Anyways Rick and the kids finally came up (I was starting to feel a little bit better in the evening), but when they walked in they all took a step back, Ricky looked scared, Rick started to tear up immediately, Breanna looked scared, and Courtney just had a blank look.

So we went over to sit down and I was dying of thirst, so of course the first thing that I did was ask Courtney to hand me my glass of water, without even thinking about it I pulled the sponge out and wet my lips down, and Rick just started bawling…. He finally pulled himself together when another surgeon (that I had not yet seen) came in and started spouting off all of this stuff about surgery, and me needing a tube put down my nose. In front of my Husband, and KIDS… I looked at her and said, “Could you hang on for a moment, so my Husband can take the kids out into the hallway?” She seemed aggravated, but I wouldn’t let her say another word until they were out of the room. We weren’t going to tell them anything unless it was for certain. Again Rick walks past me crying his eyes out. So she tells me what they want to do, and I told her fine but they would have to come back when my family leaves.

At this point my pain pump had run out of medicine, the nurse was getting ready to change it out when the surgeon cancelled out all of my pain meds. I told him no, if they cancel my pain meds then I quit. (My husband, and kids, and even the nurse got a kick out of that one, but I was serious.) So the nurse called the oncologist back down, and told her what the surgeon had said and done. And she said NO, they are not putting a tube down your nose for a partial blockage when you are Neutropenic, and I’ll re-write your pain meds.

So when Rick and the kids were getting ready to leave, Ricky clung to me a little longer, and he whimpered a little bit, then he said mommy when I come to see you this weekend you’ll wear some make-up right? (He’s six). Breanna, and Courtney gave me hugs and kisses goodbye. Then Rick gave me a kiss, and started to cry, I whispered to him to try to keep it together for the kids. So they were out the door, and he came back into the room and kissed me again and started sobbing… I know this is really hard on him, and yesterday I looked like death warmed over… I told him that I would be ok, and that he can do this.

Around midnight my pain and discomfort started going way down, the surgeons came in this morning and said that 80% of these cases clears up on their own… (Gee do you think they could have thrown that little bit of information in yesterday?) They still have me on no foods, and just tiny sips of water, they are going to try to start me on a clear diet tomorrow. My best friend and her family are coming up for a visit from Florida today, until next week, I was hoping to be home for her visit, but I’ll take what I can get…


Ronni Gordon said...

Wow. That's some story. Sorry you are going through all of this. It is definitely hard to believe that they "forgot" to tell you it might resolve on its own. The good news, though, is that you feel better and it might actually be clearing up!

Irish Eyes said...

I have a special boot for the special person who forgot to tell you that sometimes this clears up ALL BY ITSELF! You may use the boot as you wish..

UGH! Hang in there.. it's going to get better. Much love to you! Enjoy your visit with your friend. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi! You don't know me. I am Mindy,the wife of another blogger who recently passed away. I have really enjoyed reading your messages, and I just finally decided tonight to check out your blog. If there is anything I can do for you or your family, please let me know. I admire your strength. Derrick would want me to tell you- Fight on!

God Bless,
Mindy Dull

BaldyLocks said...

Hello, lovely lady. I'm sorry you are having some troubles. I wouldn't worry about that lack of food. I didn't eat for weeks when I was in and it didn't even bother me for some reason. I hope that blockage works it's way out on it's own. I had quite a bit of trouble with all the bowel stuff too and it took ages to rectify itself, but it did.

I wasn't even allowed to pluck my eyebrows when I was neutropenic, I can't imagine them wanting to put tubes in you. Big hugs to you and big hugs to your family. You are in my thoughts.

Little story. When I had my transplant I looked very rough and was afraid for my kids to see me. When they came my 10 year old son just crawled into my bed with me. He just hugged me. It's such a great memory now.

I hope today has better things in plan for you.

BaldyLocks said...

I forgot to add; You are beautiful.

YWCA Pasadena-Foothill Valley said...

I guess it's not enough to have to deal with a relapse of cancer and an upcoming STC. You're also having to deal with excruciating pain, doctors with questionable bedside manners and an apparent lack of communication between the docs. Good golly! What more can be thrown into the mix?

So typical of a loving mom to be worried about her kids above all else.

Ricky's comment about the makeup is precious.

I hope you're feeling better today.