Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Suicide


We received the dreaded call yesterday right before noon. Uncle Charlie (my husband’s uncle) had committed suicide. His eighteen year old daughter had found him lying in his bed with family photos all around and a gun shot through the heart. Two years ago we received a familiar call, but at that time it was Ryan who had killed himself, Charlie’s second child. He was 22 years old; he had suffered from depression for years, as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Charlie really was never the same since Ryan’s death, and he battled his own demons of depression, drug and alcohol abuse as well.

In part I’m sure Charlie felt somewhat responsible for Ryan’s death, because Ryan pretty much did whatever Charlie was doing. Charlie’s wife Tina finally left him a few months back, she just couldn’t take it anymore (after 27 years). Watching him kill himself slowly, and she even said yesterday, this was not what she wanted. She still loved Charlie, and she never wished him any harm.

On our way to Charlie’s house we saw fire trucks and an ambulance in front of Granny’s house. So we stopped there first. The police Chaplin had just come by to give her the news of her youngest child’s death. She has heart problems, and her chest was hurting, and she couldn’t breath. They took her blood pressure and gave her some oxygen, but then they left. She may be 91 years old, but she is still a tough old lady. I stayed with Granny and one of her daughters, while Rick went on down to Charlie’s.

Family started coming in one by one; Uncle Paul flew in yesterday (his plane landed around 9pm). Granny is getting so frail that she is constantly cold, so her house was burning hot. I went out to the front porch to get some fresh air, and one by one Rick’s Aunts came out and talked to me about Charlie, they all just wanted to know why? Which in reality no one will ever have the answer to that question. I would hug them, and tell them that everything will be alright. That sister would go in, and then another sister would come out. Within two hours I was emotionally drained. It broke my heart to hear his grandmother cry.

Emma said that it wasn’t fair. That Judy (Rick’s mom who died of cancer two years ago) wanted to live so badly, and she fought so hard. And these guys are just killing themselves left and right, and that they don’t have that right, they should want to be here for their families.

When Ryan died his four year old daughter found his body. How traumatic do you think that is to a child?? Ryan’s wife is also a drug addict, so Charlie and Tina fought for custody of Ryan’s two children a four year old girl, and a two year old boy, and they won custody. Now what? They have to tell those babies that their papa is dead. When Tina left Charlie the kids wanted to stay with him, and they had already been through so much that Tina let them. The 18 year old daughter who found him is graduating high school this week; her open house was going to be this coming up Saturday at their house. Instead we will be burying her father. C.J is only 15 so he will have to go live with his mother, along with the two grandbabies.

Since Judy died two years ago, the family has been divided over what some of the aunt’s pulled with Rick & Shannon, so getting everyone together under one roof will be a first in two years. There is already talk of fighting etc… Which is really sad, because Charlie’s children, and grandchildren should be considered, and all of their bullshit pettiness should be put to the side at least until we bury Charlie.

We went home and had to tell our youngest two that Uncle Charlie had died; Ricky (who is five) just asked to go back outside to play. Breanna cried for awhile. But later while I was making dinner Ricky came back in the house and crawled up on his dad’s lap and asked, “Is Uncle Charlie really dead?” with tears in his eyes. He loved his Uncle Charlie. Which Charlie always had a way with children, they all loved him.


Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers, this is going to be a rough week.

1 comment:

Jaime said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss....I can't imagine finding one of my family members dead.....your fmaily is in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.