Thursday, January 17, 2008

Thinking about cancer...

I’ve still been under the weather here lately. I didn’t even bother coming into work yesterday, I have a terrible cough (deep in my lungs) and my throat has been sore and swollen. This has been going on since mid-December. Hopefully it has just about ran its’ course. I wonder how long my immune system is supposed to be suppressed. My last chemo treatment was two years ago last week, and every time I get sick it doesn’t seem to want to let up. I’ve been taking vitamins and calcium pills, and seem to feel a little better but not much.

My induction chemo put me into remission the first month of my treatment in October 2005, but then I had follow up treatments through January 2006. Most stories that I have read have Leukemia patients falling out of remission either months after their initial treatment or around the three year mark which I am quickly coming upon. I try not to worry about my cancer coming back but sometimes I feel as if it might, maybe it’s normal for a cancer patient to think those kinds of thoughts. Although I really try to think positive, and I do try not to worry.

My next appointment is February 7th I really don’t have any doubts that everything is going to come back alright, but like I said I can feel something in my lungs, and it feels as if my lymph nodes are swollen in my neck. So I think I’m going to tell my doctor and see if he wants to run another cat scan it’s been about a year since my last one but I think that I would just feel better if I knew that everything was still ok.


Jaime said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.....I think thinking about these things is totally normal, especially around anniversaries, etc. I agree that you should mention your concerns to your doctor.....even if just for piece of mind. :)

KT said...

Hi to one mother with cancer, from another mother with cancer. Like you, I've been declared cancer-free (from breast cancer), but lately I have been thinking about the what-ifs....if it came back, etc. It's impossible not to, after what we've been through. And it's normal, I think, as a cancer survivor, to be worried sometimes. But we can't let it take over our thoughts and lives. I do really well if I just go about my business and put it out of my head, keep busy (easy with my 4 children, ages 21mos to 9yrs), and just not dwell on it too much. And then if I really can't stand it anymore, I'll have a good cry, remind myself I've done and continue to do everything I can to stay healthy, and then I'll do something grab a vanilla latte at Starbuck's or organize my closet or, oh yeah! play with the kids. Sometimes I even blog about it, like you did. That works wonders, the writing.

But for the most part I've put it all behind me and I am happy to be given the second chance that all my treatment has given me!

I definitely agree with you that a "feel-better" scan here and there to put your mind at ease is worth talking to your doctor about.

Take care,