Wednesday, November 28, 2007

New Pictures

Well I’ve finally got some new pictures to post. The first few are from our trip to Kentucky to visit my grandparent’s graves. This was the first time I had been there EVER!! So I was pretty excited to be there, we decorated their headstones for Christmas. We also went by their old farm, which the house looks like it is about to fall apart, it was such a nice house 20 something years ago (notice the tin roof). The last picture is of our Christmas tree, I decorated it last night after the kids went to bed, and Ricky & Breanna’s eyes were huge coming down the stairs this morning. They said, “Oh mommy it’s so beautiful.”

Grandparent's grave

The back of their headstone has all of their children's names on it.

The Farm

Grandma & Grandpa's old farm house. It looked much nicer when we were kids...

The Christmas Tree.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tis the season...

My boss let me go home early on Friday; it felt like I had four days off of work. It was so nice. But the cold that Ricky & Breanna had a week prior finally caught up with me Saturday evening and Sunday I felt rotten. I’m still having a hard time sleeping, and breathing for that matter, ever since my cancer and subsequent treatment anytime that I get sick I feel it coming on for about a week and then one morning WHAM!! I’m down for the count. When I woke this morning it felt as if I had been hit by a truck, I had to get myself downstairs so that I could take some Sudafed and Tylenol. Finally this afternoon it feels as if it is starting to lift. Thank God.

We bought a huge Christmas tree on Saturday, and last night Rick brought down all of the decorations. We strung four strands of lights on this tree and we still need 3 or 4 more strands!! This tree is huge. I will probably have to buy more bulbs as well. When we get it all decorated I will post some pictures. (We had to cut about a foot off of the top, just to get it to fit in the house)

We also decided to have Christmas dinner at our house this year. My mother had so many people at her house last year and her house is maybe 1000 sq ft. It was so crowded. So on Christmas Eve we are planning on having a minimum of 23 people over for dinner. We are going to have a turkey and a ham, plus everything that goes with it. I’m sure my husband is grateful; he thinks that no one in my family can cook but me. So I’m sure that he will be stuffing himself all day.

I just realized that I do not have any doctor’s appointments until February of next year. This will be the longest period of time that I will have gone without being seen since 2005. Man that is such a huge relief. Now if they would just call me up to let me know that they have seriously over billed me and would like to take off a least half, I would be all set. At last count I’m well over $100,000.00 owed (after insurance).

Which reminds me: Have you seen Sicko? It is a documentary by Michael Moore (whom for the most part I am not a huge fan) but I think I’m starting to come around. It goes into great detail on our healthcare system or lack thereof. And how some countries including CUBA, Canada, France, etc… have free health care. It is well worth the watch, go out and rent this movie. If it doesn’t make you mad nothing will…

Friday, November 23, 2007

I have been blessed

Today at lunch I heard a song; sung by Martina McBride and it pretty much sums it up...


I get kissed by the sun
Each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the
Bedroom door
Sometimes I sit on my
Front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given

At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones
That love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Across a crowded room,
I know you know what I’m thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we’re lying in the quiet and
No words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

Repeat chorus

When I’m singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me
I know

Repeat chorus

We had a nice time yesterday with family, way better than antisapated. Which is good, everyone got along, no fighting, and there wasn't a mad dash for the door once everyone was done eating. We all actually stuck around and really enjoyed each others company. What more could you ask for?

Rick and I went Chirstmas shopping at 4am this morning... It was crazy, but we put a small dent in our shopping:)

Have a great weekend

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Things that I am thankful for:

I am thankful for the life that God has allowed me to live. I know sometimes things get hard, people get sick, and sometimes die. But all in all I’ve lead a good life. Loved a good man, and was blessed with four wonderful children.

I am thankful for the cancer that has touched my life, I know that’s a little weird to say, but I have met many wonderful people through my experience. I was shown a strength that I never knew that I possessed. I have learned to not take today for granted, every morning that I wake up I know today is a good day, because I could have lost my battle with cancer and I would not have had two more years with my family. I have learned not to take what a doctor tells you as the final word, because God my have something else in mind for you. It’s up to you to figure out what that is, but at least you’re given the chance to discover what that purpose is.

I am thankful for many wonderful friends, that I can call in a moments notice and they will all be there for me no matter what. All of the wonderful memories that we have shared. *The time that we drank 3 bottles of liquor and laughed so hard, for so long that we couldn’t take in a deep breath for a week because it would hurt so bad.* Who knew the diaphragm was a muscle??

I am thankful that I found blogging. I know that too is a little weird, but I’ve met many wonderful people, and found many encouraging words here. Plus I’ve been given the chance to write again. I wish that I could make more time to log on.

All in all I am very thankful for my life, and the wonderful people in it.

Have a great Thanksgiving…

Monday, November 19, 2007

Rock, Scissors, Laser Gun…

Watching T.V. last week my son came up to me and asked, “Mommy do you want to play rock, scissors, laser gun with me?” of course I had never heard that one before, but he gave me some pointers and we played for ½ hour. Then his older sisters wanted to play with him. He’s so cute.

I was off work almost half of last week, I took Courtney to the doctors on Monday, then on Wednesday, and Thursday I stayed home with Ricky and Breanna, they were both sick. Breanna’s asthma was acting up so I had to take her to see the doctor on Wednesday, which he prescribed more steroids. It took her all summer to lose the weight she gained from the steroid treatment last winter, but the girl has got to breathe. So I guess I’ll be signing her up for soccer next spring.

Courtney on the other hand got a gift from the gym locker room at school in the form of warts on the bottom of her feet. So I took her to get those treated, and also they finally diagnosed my sister who has been sick since June with PCOS. When my mother called to tell me what she had I of course looked it up online and almost symptom for symptom it sounded just like Courtney. So I had the doctor look her over and he believes that she also has PCOS. The first step for someone her age is to be put on birth control. So now my 14 yr old daughter is going on the pill. Oh joy… in a month or two he is going to have some blood work done to see if she needs glucose treatment.

Life is most defiantly a journey; and then you add kids, and the fun never stops!!! I wouldn’t trade it for anything though.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

So do you want the long or short of it?

Short and to the point:

Khrystyne had a needle core biopsy yesterday and it came back benign. The doctor told her to watch out for the following:

1. That 1/3 of these tumors (Fibroadenoma) will get bigger, and if that happens than she will need to have the lump removed because it could turn cancerous.

2. When she decides to have children in the future if the tumor is still there she will need to have numerous ultra-sounds and biopsies because the extreme hormone surges can turn it cancerous.

3. Because she had this type of tumor at such a young age her risk for developing breast cancer in the future is greater.

But for now she is OK. She is just going to have to keep an eye on it, and always be mindful of any changes in her body.

Now for the long story:

I don’t know about Khrys but I was awake from about 2am on. Nervous as all get out. After everyone else went to work and school we ate a bite and got ready to go downtown. When I came downstairs to leave Khrystyne was sitting on the loveseat with her headphones on and playing her DS. So I told her that we needed to leave, she never uttered a word and we both walked outside. When we were on the interstate I noticed that we were still not speaking, my mind was racing a million miles per hour, and I looked over at her and she was still playing her video game without a care in the world. I took a deep breath and tried to relax a little.

We signed in at the desk upon arriving, and of course I had to fill out her whole life history. She finally put her game away, I turned the papers in, and we sat and talked until they called her name. I saw one of the counselors/nurses (Barbara) for Camp Bluebird while we were waiting. She said, “I bet you’re here to see Dr. Goulet.” I said, “No, she is.” And Barbara gave me a strange look and went on.

The nurse called Khrystyne’s name and we went back (again to a strange look) she weighed her and took her blood pressure, gave her a gown and told her that Dr. Goulet was working with an intern today and that he would be in to see her first. (One thing I noticed at this doctor’s office, all of the nurses wore pink scrubs.) So Khrys changed and we waited, this guy comes into the office, he is about 6’ 5’’, he was HUGE! Khrystyne looks over at me with this deer in the headlights look, I kind of had to smile to myself. He sat down and took all of the family history information and then told her that he needed to examine her he checked her left breast, and than her right. Then he told us that Dr. Goulet would be in next. As soon as he walked out of the office Khrystyne said that kind of hurt, he was too rough. I just laughed at her, I think that she was a little embarrassed.

Dr. Goulet came in with the intern and his nurse Carol, and then he examined Khrys, he told us that he thought that she had a Fibroadenoma tumor, and that those are usually benign, but that he wanted to take a needle core biopsy just to make sure. So they called down to have the procedure scheduled, and his nurse stayed behind to let us know that it really wasn’t as bad as it sounded. She explained the procedure to us, and then she asked us where we lived exactly. Come to find out she lives in the same area that we do, and she also has a 17yr old daughter.

About a half hour later the people came into the room for the biopsy. They explained everything that they were going to do, there was one man doctor, one female doctor, and one female nurse, so Khrystyne was once again completely humiliated, and of course the male doctor was the one doing the biopsy. So he numbed her, and started with the first needle. For those of you who have never seen or experienced this they poke the needle in & out, in & out, in & out, in & out, in & out, in & out, when they finally pull it out it looks like it has one drop of blood on the end of the needle which they put on a slide, and then it’s time for needle # 2 repeat all of the above, and then needle # 3, so she had to have 4 needles total.

Luckily they got what they needed the first time and did not have to repeat all of that again. They rushed all of the slides into the next room, and a few minutes later they came back into the room to collect their supplies and told me that Dr. Goulet would be in to give us the results, and then the female doctor smiled at me. So I knew right then that everything was going to be alright, because if it wasn’t she would have been horrified at what she just saw and no way would have been able to smile at me.

Dr. Goulet, the intern and nurse Carol came in as the others were leaving to verify the good news, but told us to keep a close eye on it, if it does grow they will have to take it out just to be safe.

Khrystyne stayed home today because her boob hurt… (That’s her word’s folks) and may I say that I am so very thankful that it turned out for the best. Thank all of you who had our family in your thought’s and prayers. We really needed this one.

These benign tumors are solid lumps of fibrous and glandular tissue. They occur most frequently in women between 18 and 35 and account for nearly all breast tumors in women under 25. Fibroadenomas are not usually tender (although tenderness may be felt just before menstruation), and are generally movable when palpated (rolled with pads of the fingers).

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

We should know something soon...

Tomorrow is the day, I have to say I’m not as anxious as I was a week or two ago. I guess I have come to 2 conclusions. 1. The likely hood of someone Khrys’ age having breast cancer is very slim. 2. If she does have breast cancer what can we do, but seek treatment and move on. She on the other hand is still pretty nervous, but probably not as much. So we are just going to wish for the best and be prepared for the worst.

I know that I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I am getting so tired of working. I don’t know if it’s wanting to stay home with my family, or if I just don’t find anything rewarding about this job. I feel as if I should be doing something to make a difference. Maybe that will be my New Years Resolution for 2008, find something that makes me happy and run with it… I’m thinking that I just need to find something more fulfilling. So we’ll se where that take’s me.

I was trying to let my hair grow back out, but I just can’t get over the hump of letting the hair grow over the shoulders it always does this weird flippy thing??? So Friday night I got it cut short. But now that I’m thinking about it I really like it better. It’s is so much faster to style and out the door I go, I can usually take a shower, dress, put on my make-up, and do my hair right at ½ hour. Before it could take me up to 2 hours to get all of that accomplished. So I guess cancer gave me an extra hour in bed every day!!!

Wish us luck tomorrow…

Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloween 2007

The kids had a great time on Halloween; they met up with Breanna’s best friend Ashrey and walked around the WHOLE neighborhood. But again they had fun… Ricky and Breanna insisted on dressing alike this year so I DID NOT pick out their outfits, they had it down to matching Doctors, Clowns, or Superman & Super Girl and you can see which costume won out.

I called and made Khrystyne’s doctors appointment; they couldn’t get her in until next Wednesday, even at that I had hell to pay to get her that appointment. I called Dr. Goulet’s office and tried to set up the appointment, she asked how old Khrys was and when I told her that she was 17 her reply was, “Oh, I don’t think he sees them that young, you may have to take her to Riley’s Children Hospital.” She said that she would check with his nurse when she got in and would let me know.

When she finally called back she said that the nurse stated to wait one month’s cycle, and if we still noticed the lump to give them a call. So I had to explain that I had already taken her to have an ultra sound and that it was not a cyst, but in fact a tumor, and then I threw in my Oncologists’ name. So she checked with the nurse and they went ahead and scheduled the appointment.

Khrys has been so stressed out this whole week. Her hair is starting to fall out, and she has been getting sick. I don’t know if that is because she is ill or just plain stressed out. Right now I’m leaning towards stressed.

I am trying not to think about it, but it’s really hard not to. Everyone that I have talked to seems to think that it will be benign. But the look on that Doctor’s and radiologist’s face really leaves room for doubt. The tumor itself measures 2.8 x 1.3 x 1.5 cm. It looks huge on the film. I'll keep you all posted as I find out more...