Thursday, September 28, 2006

1 year Anniversary

Well I’ve officially made it one year since my diagnosis of AML (Leukemia). This post will be very lengthy and you don’t have to read all of it, but it is my journal from last year after being diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t have too many entries, but when I did they were pretty long. I was put in the hospital on September 28, 2005 and stayed through almost the end of October for my induction chemo, I was lucky because it put me in remission right away, and I had post remission chemo in November, December, and January of this year. I returned back to work on February 16th and it was very rough at first, but I’m doing much better now. I am just extremely grateful that God seen fit to let me live another year, to be with my children, and to love my husband, and at least I was able to help get him through the death of his mother, and I was able to be with her when she was scared. Anyways here is my story:

9/30/2005

Well two days ago I found out that I had Leukemia. I had been sick for the past six weeks, lost 38 pounds, ran fevers, been really low on energy. Finally last week my doctor sent me to have some blood work done, and on Friday they called me and said that I was anemic, and that he wanted me to have some more labs ran. So this past Tuesday I went to have some blood work ran. Wednesday at 6:15 in the morning the phone rang, and I thought, “What does my mother want?” but it was Dr. Hector saying that my blood work had came back and that he was concerned my red blood count had dropped two more points and he believed that I may have Leukemia. He wanted me to go see a hematologist and that he’d call me right back. I called Ange and told her, she was crying and said that she would be right over. I didn’t call Rick right away, because he had meetings at work and then he had a meeting with Mark and Larry about keeping his job (he had put in notice one week before, and a colon specialist thought I may have colon cancer). My doctor called back and told me to go to St Francis hospital to have my blood work drawn, and then to go see Dr Mary Lou Meyer. So I took the babies over to my moms, and I told her. Went back home, met up with Ange, had the blood work done, went over to Dr Myers they finally took us up to a room, and we waited a long time. I was getting very nervous. Finally she came in and stated that she had been on the phone with 9 different people, she told me that they thought that I had Acute Leukemia, and that she knew a really good doctor at IU Medical. I wasn’t even sure if they accepted my insurance Dr. Myers said that they did, that she had already checked and that she already had a room # for me 5846. So Ange and me went home to wait for Rick, he was home within 30 minutes. Ange went outside, I sat down on the couch and told Rick to sit down. He said NO and backed up, I asked him again to sit down Please. He finally sat down, and I told him. He was very upset to say the least (crying). He finally went upstairs to take a shower. Then he and Ange took me to IU Medical. Once I was admitted I had one doctor and nurse after another came in to talk to me. They told me that they would have to do a bone marrow biopsy. So on Thursday they put in a central line in my neck so they can give me different IV’s and draw my blood. Then latter they came in to do my bone marrow biopsy (I can’t even describe the pain) They came back latter that day and told me that I have Acute Myeloginous Leukemia, and they would start me on Chemo by Friday. So I called Ange and asked her if she would cut my hair off for Locks of Love since mine was going to fall out anyways. So she came over today and cut my hair off. Rick had taken the babies for a walk, but Judy, Holly, Khrys, and Courtney were in here while she did it. It made Ange cry, but she did it anyways because I asked her to. (I would do it for her.) It’s short but it will be shorter in a couple of weeks. My central line is bruised right now, it is so very sore..

10/2/2005

Well yesterday I had a pretty rough day. I guess it kind of finally hit me and I’m a little scared to say the least. Mom, Bonnie and JJ came by to see me yesterday morning. Yesterday afternoon my Aunt Tammy came out, Rick came out last night and a little while later my nurse came in and said that there was a man at their desk who said he knew me his name was Kenny B., I told her that he was my cousin and that she could let him back. He came in and said that he didn’t know my last name. He told the nurses that he was here to see April, and when they asked him for my last name he told them that he didn’t know that I got married (10 years ago) and they gave him a dirty look (he works at that hospital!) It was really nice getting to talk to him. I really do miss him. He said after I get out of here we’ll go to Cheeseburger in Paradise. I’ve already gotten cleaned up this morning. Ange, Holly and all the girls are coming up today, and Kenny said that his mom and dad and maybe Aunt Tammy were coming out after church today. Mom, Rachel and Ricky are coming out tomorrow, also Angie C. Rachel (my sister) called me yesterday and said that she wasn’t sure that she could come up to see me because she didn’t know if she could see me with everything hooked up, and then she started crying. I told her that it was going to be ok. I talked to Shirley for a couple of hours yesterday I was pretty upset, but she let me talk through it. I didn’t want to upset everyone else. Well that’s it for now.

10/2/2005 Later in the day

Well I had a lot of visitors today. Holly and Khrystyne came by, right when they got here Jennifer and her daughter Brooke came by. A few hours later Mary and Kenny Sr. came by Kenny stayed in the hallway, he wouldn’t come in. After that Brad H from work came by. Then my mom, step-dad and little Ricky came by. Rick, Granny, Tammy and Anita and Ricks cousin Phil all called today. I really do need to talk to a preacher, I feel very lost right now, and I really need to make a change in my life for myself, and for my family.

I’m really upset about being in the hospital for the next month. I’m going to miss Khrystyne’s birthday this week, and my mom’s birthday also this week, and I’m going to miss Breanna’s soccer games the last few up to the 15th of this month. Her team won their first game today 6-12. I told Breanna over the phone that I was so proud of her, and she just giggled. When mom, Terry and Ricky was here I couldn’t really breath right so I kept pulling my mask down (Ricky is too small to wear a mask so I have to) so before they left I gave Ricky a couple of kisses, mom yelled at me, but I miss my babies so much. It is hard lying here, but I’d rather be here and get better, than not be in here, and not be here at all. Ricky kept asking me if I was going to come home today, I kept telling him no that I had to stay here for a while her would say OH, and then go on playing with Terry. When I was talking to Breanna on the phone today she also asked me if I was going to come home today, and I said no baby I have to be in the hospital for a while she said ok, I thought you said that you were coming home today. That is probably the hardest part of everything those two are so young that I have to keep telling them over and over, and I miss them all so much. Even the older two and all of their fussing and fighting.

Well that’s it for today. More tomorrow

November 2, 2005

Well it’s been a very long month since I’ve written in here. So I’ll go back a ways. I ended up getting a massive growth in my neck where the central line was, they put me through an x-ray and two extremely painful cat scans. One, I could not lie down so I had to have assistance to just lie down. It never took any fewer than two people to accomplish that. On the second CAT scan it was time for the staff to go home, so they were rushing everything, they ended up hurting me very badly. My IV was pulled out, and I told them that it was pinching so they pulled me back out of the machine; she looked at it and stated, “that it was fine.” But I could tell something was wrong. They gave me a bar to hold on to (it looked like a bar that you would hold onto while skiing) and it pulled my arms all the way over my head. At that time I could barley lift my arm to feed myself. So to say that it was extremely painful does not even began to describe how I felt. The kept pulling me in the machine and pulling me back out over and over and over. So it was like rubbing salt in an open wound. One time they pulled me out they told me to sit up, I was like “I can’t sit up by myself.” So the two women just flung me up yanked the pillow out from under my head and shoved a huge foam neck brace under my neck, and just laid me back down hard. Needless to say I was sobbing through the whole thing. Then they had me hold on to the bar again, in & out of that machine I went until it was time to inject e dye. So the nurse started to inject they dye and it ran out all over my arm. (I had told her that my IV had pulled out) so the second nurse goes, “She has a central line in her neck, let’s just put the dye in through there.” I was like, “THAT’S WHERE THE PROBLEM IS!” but they went ahead and did it anyways. They finished up with the CAT scan and helped me over to my table, called transportation, pushed me out into the hallway to wait for (transportation) and left me by myself. Needless to say I was still crying my eyes out, the guy from transportation came down, took one look at me and asked if I was alright. (I couldn’t speak) so I just shook my head no. He took me back up to my room, and by the time I got up there I guess my face was covered in blood, Ange, Phil and Pastor Mike were waiting for me in the hallway. So Ange and the nurse helped me into my room. (My nurse was off, but she waited for me to see how things went) I was still crying they took me into my room to help me out of my x-tra gown, gloves, mask etc… (Things I always have to wear whenever I go out of my room) I started to tell them what had happened, when my new night shift nurse came in, and started helping when I realized that my nose was bleeding. They helped me over and into my bed, and tried to start my IV up in my arm. I told them that the women downstairs had pulled it out from where it was and just left it there, but they tried to start it back up anyways and the saline solution went everywhere. I told them that it was painful and they had to get it out. So when they pulled it out it was bent at a 90* angle. Finally they got me settled in enough that we let (Rick’s cousin) Phil, and Pastor Mike in. (I was still crying very hard) Pastor Mike talked to me for a few minutes and then he and Phil prayed for me. I looked around and Ange, Phil, Pastor Mike, and my nurse were all crying too. They all felt so bad for me. My nurse asked me the next day if I wanted to file a complaint with the head of the hospital. (I didn’t do it) but she was so upset; I think she made a complaint herself.

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