Thursday, August 24, 2006

Progressively Declining

Progress toward goal: Progressively declining.

That is what the hospice nurse wrote on my mother-in-laws paperwork yesterday. It just seems weird to me that they would consider dying a goal… but I’ll tell you what my hat is off to the people who work in the hospice field, day in and day out taking care of patients that you know won’t be here a few days, weeks, or months down the road. Taking care not only of the patient but their families as well; just having to watch people quickly decline, and try to keep them from feeling as little pain as possible, the smell (believe me death has a smell), the heart break, they can’t help but be affected by their patients. It must be one of the toughest jobs in the world.

My mother-in-law asked me to go online today to find out what she can expect next, so if any of you have gone through this please let me know what to tell her. She said that she can’t take the pain anymore and she wishes that it was just over. She asked the hospice nurse last night what will they do when they give her all of the pain medication that she can have without killing her, and she is still in pain what will they do… The nurse would not answer her. They have her on a pain pump giving her so much per hour, and then they have it set to where she can push the button every (10min) (7min) now every 5 minutes. Sometimes I just wish that it would be over for her, I know she is not ready to leave her family, and they will miss her terribly, but I just hate to see her so sick.

Well my appointment is in a couple of hours, I’m expecting good news. I definitely don’t feel sick, and I’m coming up to my 1 year mark for remission. So wish me luck.

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