Thursday, June 29, 2006

Joke of the Day

One morning while she was making breakfast, the fitness freak husband walked up to his wife and pinched her on the bum

He said, “You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdles.”

This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.

Next morning the man gestured toward his wife’s breasts. “You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras.”

That was too far over the limit.

She pointed to his groin and said, “You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.”

How True How True

Raising Boys

For those who have grown children - this is totally hysterical!For those with children past this age, this is hilarious.For those who have children this age, this is not funny.For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:Things I've Learned From My Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A King size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them withroller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A three year old boys voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is notstrong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and aSuperman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, tospread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in movies.
10.) Certain Leggos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play-dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw-up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Food & Friends

Well this past Thursday I went to the doctors and everything came back fine. I always sweat the small stuff. Although when I told Dr. Cripe that I had bruising on my gums he said, "I bet that was scary, Did you call to come in and have blood work done?" I said, "No, I didn't want to know!" But once again let me say that my blood work came back fine!!! (Knock on Wood)

Anyways I had some friends over for dinner on Sunday late afternoon; (check out my friends website @ www.breakingbricks.com it is one of the funniest websites that you'd ever want to see). We had ribs (to die for) tomato and cucumber salad(WOW), corn on the cobb, baked potatoes with onions salt & pepper and butter (yum), fresh apple crisp, cherry/pineapple crisp, and an ice cream cake from culvers frozen custard. I have to honestly say that this was the very best dinner that I had ever made, and with the exception of the corn and the baked potatoes I had never made any of the other things. Heck I have never even eaten Ribs before (I don't like a lot of fat on my food). Here is the recipe for the Ribs that I used:

Quincy Jones' Thriller Ribs
Recipe created by Quincy Jones
Serves 8

Take a rack of baby back ribs. Cook slowly we're talking eight hours. Serve to your best friends on Earth.

INGREDIENTS

2 teaspoons Spike seasoning
1 teaspoon Ac'cent seasoning
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
5 racks baby back ribs (about 5 pounds)
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 large jalapeno peppers, minced
2 large onions, halved and thinly sliced
2 green bell peppers, thinly sliced
2 red bell peppers, thinly sliced
2 yellow bell peppers, thinly sliced


In a cup, combine Spike and Ac'cent seasonings and black pepper. Sprinkle 1/4 tsp. seasoning mixture on each side of the rib racks. In a small bowl, combine the minced garlic, jalapeno peppers and remaining seasoning mixture. Rub the garlic mixture on the top and bottom of the ribs. Line a large roasting pan (17 x 11 1/2 inches) with enough foil to wrap all the ribs. Spread a layer of onions and bell peppers on top of the foil. Place 2 rib racks, side by side, on the vegetables. Continue to layer the onions and peppers and the ribs. Tightly wrap the marinated ribs in the foil and refrigerate for 2 days. Remove the pan from the refrigerator and let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 400°. Before placing the ribs in the oven, reduce the temperature to 300°. Bake the foil-wrapped ribs for 6 to 8 hours. Remove the ribs. Spoon off the fat from the liquid in the pan and discard, reserving the pan juices. Cut each rack into three sections and serve with the vegetables and pan juices, plus sides of rice and chopped tomato-and-cucumber salad. Recommended ingredients: Spike seasoning is a special blend of 38 herbs, vegetables and exotic spices, combined with a bit of salt. It can be found in most major grocery stores with spices or salt. Ac'cent seasoning is also called M.S.G. (Monosodium Glutamate). It is not a favored seasoning or enhancer in the United States as many people are allergic to it. It is an optional seasoning and can very easily be left out of recipes.

(I did leave out the Ac'cent seasoning in mine and it still tasted amazing)
Talk about aroma!!!! OMG!!!


Well I'd better go for now, I'll check in soon!

Joke of the Day

Panhandle Premonition

Two men from New Jersey are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up to the car and taps on the window with his nightstick.

The driver rolls down the window and “WACK”, the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver yells, “What was that for?”

The trooper says, “You’re in Texas son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.”

The quivering driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.”

The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.

The puzzled passenger rolls down the window and “WHACK”, the trooper smacks him with the nightstick too. The passenger yells, “What’d you do that for?!”

The trooper says, “Just making your wish come true.”

The passenger says, “Huh?”

The trooper says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say, “I wish that jerk would’ve tried that crap with me.”

Monday, June 19, 2006

Weekend Warrior

After work on Saturday, I went to the grocery store, and than me and the kids went over to my husbands aunts house for a cookout/house warming party. We were actually a little late getting there and can I say they did not even have the grill going yet (actually they didn't even have a grill at her house) her brother and sister were leaving when I got there to go pick up a grill. So we were there for three hours before they even had the food cooked. My husbands grandmother (granny) must have drank vinegar before she came over because she was going off on everybody, for every little thing (expect for me she likes me) She told his aunt that she didn't like her new house because it was too dark, she said,"I told her to put up some light curtains but she put those thick curtains and no light is coming in the house I don't like that." She went off on another aunt and one uncle before it was all over. (Very entertaining) Afterwards we went to my sisters house to pick up my youngest daughter. She stayed over to go swimming. She had fun.

On Sunday I went upstairs to wake up my husband for church, and I laid down next to him and fell back asleep.... I didn't wake up until 11:30 I can't ever remember a time in my life that I have ever slept until 11:30 in the morning. (Actually I was up at 6:30 and fell back asleep)When we finally did get up we got ready and went over to my mothers house for a Fathers Day cookout. Have I ever mentioned that I truly do not know how I came from this family???? My sister and her husband was there (and the kids) her husband (who is one year younger than my mother, and one year older than our father would have been) kept telling stories of how he disciplined her kids to me it sounded like border line abuse. I can't wait to get my sister to herself, I could kick her ass. My husband finally said, "let's go" because he saw the look on my face where he knew that it would just take one more statement and it was going to be on. Let me back up for a minute... When we got to my mothers nobody had gotten there yet and the grill had not even been started!!!! (Two days in a row,different families, same situation)

After we left my mothers house we took our oldest daughter to my cousins house (she is going to be babysitting for her for the next two weeks) we hung out there for a little while and checked out her new POOL!!! It is huge. I can't wait until they get it finished.

We stopped by my mother-in-laws house on the way home and picked up our other daughter. So I was pretty busy all weekend long, after work tonight I have to go home and work on the laundry. Two more weeks until vacation.... I really need it.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Just Another Day

Well I'm starting to feel better. I've still had a few problems this past week but all in all I am feeling much better. We took all of the kids to Kings Island this past Monday I was still really tired, but my husband took the older kids and rode roller-coasters I took the younger two to Hanna Barbara Land they had a lot of fun. We all met up for lunch then took all of the kids to the water park. They all had fun, and were all asleep by the time we got on the interstate. We didn't get home until 12:15 in the morning, and I had to go to work the next morning. Soooooo needless to say I've been dragging ass all week long.

We watched Freedom Land last night; it wasn't as good as I thought it would be, but from the beginning you knew who did it. The movie was actually a little weird.

My friend is finally starting to show 25 weeks into her pregnancy!!!! Her husband bought their baby a tee shirt from
www.tshirthell.com that says "I ripped mommy a new one." I thought that was so funny. I can't wait to see the baby. I'm still so excited.

I've got a lot to do this weekend (no rest in sight) I have to work 1/2 day tomorrow, then go to my husbands aunt's house for a cookout (that he will be skipping to go to the race track), and then Sunday I have Church, and then a cookout at my mothers house. Somewhere in between all of that I have housework, grocery shopping, and laundry to fit in to my schedule. Like I said no rest in sight.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Wish Me Luck

Well I haven't updated in awhile I've been a little under the weather, and pretty busy at work. My son's birthday party went very well he had a blast. We had a cookout and his dad took him to the demolition derby afterwards. They spent as much money on food and pop as they did on their tickets.

I've been trying to fill out financial aid paperwork from my hospital (what a hassle) right now after insurance, my medical bills are over $37,000 that I'm responsible for. What a nightmare, and to top it off I'm not sure that I'm 100% cured. My percentage for remission for one year is only 20%-30%, and I have been having some problems this week, fatigue, nausea, bloody nose hopefully it's just a bug, but I'm not so sure. My husband thought that I was just looking for sympathy the night before last so he was kind of an ass, because I wanted to lay down after work (needless to say I didn't get to lay down). Yesterday he called me on my way to work, and asked me why I sounded so bad? I told him, "I told you that I was sick!" so he ended up calling me 4 times yesterday at work to check on me. Last night while watching TV I fell asleep he woke me up to go to bed, and when we were laying down he asked me if I was alright? I could see the worry in his eyes, so I told him that I was fine and that I just needed some rest. I go back to the doctors June 22 I hope my blood work comes back ok. (Wish me luck)